The good news….

So, after all these year of trying so so hard; my body has FINALLY started showing change.

2013
I tried major life changes (work, moving interstate).

2014
I tried diet.
I went raw multiple times and even juiced for ten days (including 3 colonics!).

2015
I got an amazing personal trainer.

2016
The change.

I understand that I needed this slow build up. Fast change is not lasting change.

First I had to relearn how to feed myself. In a way that suited my body. Yes, I’d had success with a high protein diet, even as a vegan! Diets work great while you’re on them.

But what I needed was a lifestyle change. And the raw vegan lifestyle suits my body to a T. Once I discovered this, I got passionate. Once you find passion, everything else becomes do-able. All the ferments and cultures and sprouts have worked wonders to heal  my gut lining and recreate a healthier intestinal microbiota. Which essentially seems to be the most important way to heal all of you including your mind!

The physical training in the gym made me have a purpose. Something I was sorely lacking since getting married and having kids. I finally had a goal. Even though it was a pretty standard, boring one: to look better. I had a community. Being at the gym at the same time each day/week, meant I got to see the same people. I hardly spoke to any of them, but I had a sense of security and comfort in the sameness and routine of it all.
Weight-lifting made my body feel stronger, I loved the rippling of my muscles that I could now actually feel under all that fat.

The BIGGEST change however, came from changing my MINDSET.
Honestly, that is when the weight started finally coming off. I knew the right things to do and I was doing them for the most part and then lapsing from the lack of results, and the frustration.
But when my trainer introduced me to Louise Hay’s morning and evening meditations (mainly waking up being grateful) and ESPECIALLY Esther Hicks (living with the flow of life, instead of constant resistance); my life changed.
My mind just settled into the groove that it had been searching for. These people spoke my language!

I made a decision to get off insulin, I went cold turkey. I went raw for close to three months TOO EASY. It was hardly even a challenge really. And physically, finally, the long awaited changes came.

I know raw food isn’t for everyone, nor are my motivators going to work for you. But I firmly believe, that mindset is a HUGE part of what creates who we are. Nothing much was changing for me, or at least my mind couldn’t SEE the changes, until I opened my mind’s eye to looking outwards, instead of inwards.

Am I still raw?
I took a break 🙁 🙁 and I’m trying hard to get back to raw.

Do I still go to the gym?
As much as I can. even if its just a quick 15 minute walk on the treadmill (I so can’t do the outdoors)

Am I super skinny and hot?
Lol. No. I’m back to a size 18 and weigh in the early 90s. But yes, compared to before, I feel like a supermodel :):):)

Am I still insulin free?
The second I eat cooked food I need insulin. As long as I’m raw or eating protein (tofu, nuts) or only basic steamed veg, I don’t need insulin. My dependence on the huge doses I took in the past has completely diminished. I am now on a tablet. I still have a long journey ahead of me to reverse my diabetes :). But I feel like at least now, I finally have a map!!

This year I feel like I am creeping even further out of the very thick, strong and protective shell I built for myself. Do I understand why I built that shell? I’m kinda wondering.. do I even need to???!

And finally, some show and tell …

Me at my dad’s 60th July 2014 and in February 2016

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